Emma's Mom lost her battle with cancer just two weeks ago. Angela was my friend, someone I cared for, listened to, and laughed with. I still have our text messages from July on my cell phone - precious snippets of conversation now. And when I browse her facebook profile I see photos of her not even a year ago with her arms around Emma at a family celebration looking robust and healthy. There was no foreshadowing what was to come. But that's cancer for you. It's left Emma without her Mom, those arms around her only shadows now.
Emma and I spent a lot of time together this past year everyday after school. We talked a lot, laughed a lot, learned a lot. So I guess it seemed natural to her to spend the better part of the day following her Mom's passing with me. She sent me a text message from her Dad's phone Tuesday morning telling me about her Mom and asked if we could get together that day. So I picked her up at her Nona's around lunchtime. When I arrived she greeted me with a hug - her beautiful brown eyes moist with tears. My blue eyes brimming. We climbed into the car, buckled up and headed for our usual lunch spot.
McDees we call it. On this occasion, Emma preferred to go inside as opposed to the drive-thru. At the counter, I ordered her a Chicken McNugget Happy Meal with a girl's toy. The toy was "Clumsy" Smurf - perfect because we were going to see the movie later in the afternoon. She found a place for us to sit and then bounced over to the pop machine to fill her drink cup with whatever her liquid pleasure. As usual, I stole a couple of french fries while she wasn't looking. She ate enough to satisfy her hunger, then packed up the rest and decided it was time to head to my house to see the furkids.
This was Emma's first visit to our new home in Sherwood Park. But that wasn't the big draw. She wanted to see the critters the most. Zoe, our dog is her favorite. When she sees Emma she knows there's a treat in store for her and there's no controlling her wiggle-bottom. The tail actually wags the dog. Emma loves that. There's just nothing like being greeted with unbridled enthusiasm and no better prescription for a wounded heart. Once the greetings were out of the way, Emma and I decided to take Zoe for a stroll through the park nearby.
It's a lovely park, nicely treed with a winding, hilly trail. Ducks bob on the pond, going bottom's up for some tasty morsels below under the watchful eye of the cattail sentinels. Dragonflies lazily police the miscreant mosquito population while the squirrels and sparrows gossip. It's a magical place on a warm summer's afternoon. Maybe that's what helped Emma open up while we walked the loop and Zoe pulled incessantly on the leash. "Why do people get cancer?"
"I don't know Emma, cancer just happens."
"Did my Mom and Dad know before?"
"I think they did Emma, but imagine how hard it would have been for them to tell you."
"Why do we have funerals?"
"We have funerals to say good-bye to our loved ones, celebrate their lives and allow other people the chance to pay their respects to the person and their family."
"Why do we dress dead people?"
"We dress them so they look nice for their funeral."
"How do you know someone is dead?"
"Because they stop breathing and their heart stops beating."
"What makes them dead?"
"When they are too sick or hurt for their spirit to stay in their body."
"What is a spirit?"
"You know the part of you inside that makes you think and feel? That's your spirit. That's what made your Mom who she was."
"Is my Mom sad?"
"Yes Emma, your Mom is very sad to have to leave you."
"Did she want to stay?"
"She did, and she fought very hard to stay, but her body was too sick."
"Is there a chance that on the third day, she'll rise again?"
"That would be nice wouldn't it? But no Emma, only Jesus can do that."
Closing the loop on our walk ended her inquisition. Emma is a bright girl - but these questions were more insightful than I ever expected. I was comforted by her openness. Later, when I considered this time we shared, I imagined that we weren't alone in the park - that our Mother's walked with us. Emma's, to help her ask the questions and mine, to help me give the answers. Emma and I both lost our Mother's this year - both on a Monday. And so, we walk on common ground. Losing your Mom is hard. But Emma has shown me that even though you may feel sad everyday, you still have to welcome distractions - walk the dog - go to movies - skip a little - because the world keeps turning on its axis. Our Mom's would like that.
The rest is pixie dust...
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